"Mum", my son said as I lay with thumping head surrounded in snot rags, "no offence, but you look like a chav when you're ill".
On further analysis of my face, in particular the eye area, my daughter took great pleasure in whole heartedly agreeing with her brother. Unfortunately, it was the only thing they could agree on all week.
And that's the problem I find with February Half Term. When your defences are down and you can barely lift you mug to your mouth to dose yourself up with lemsip, your children squabble - meaning one's head thumps even harder. They squabble because they are siblings, they squabble because they are children but, most of all, they squabble because THEY ARE BORED!
I resolved to try and kill two birds with one stone and packed them off to the swimming pool. There I hoped (nae, prayed) the chlorine would temper Pete's hair, whilst the splash around would also entertain Frank and Connie enough to find their love for each other once more. It all went to plan until afterwards in the shower when Connie gave Frank a quick kick in the balls; because that's what sisters do:
(Note how Pete is oblivious to the entire episode, so intent is he on washing down that mighty massive mop).
I knew then that these were desperate times. If we were going to survive February Half Term whilst keeping our family unit (and testicles) in tact there was only one thing for it. SPLIT UP.
So I took Frank away to Manchester where we spent a night in a hotel specifically chosen for it's proximity to a Lego shop. Frank loves lego, he lives and breathes it. He spends hours ogling it in the shop. When, after what felt like ages, I raised even the mildest hint that it might be time to go Frank knocked me down: "Mum, it may not seem like much, but this is my way of expressing myself". And when you're a parent and your child says that, they win. But ultimately I guess, we both won. I bought him a nice big chunk of lego and off we headed back to the hotel room where he spent the next few hours making it. Meantime, finally, I relaxed under a duvet whilst drawing inspiration for a speedy recovery from the athleticism and elegance of the ice dancers at the Winter Olympics.
As for Connie and Pete; well they had fun too. They went to a hotel with a pool near Lincoln overnight where they could swim and wash their hair afterwards to their heart's content. And when we reunited back home with batteries re-charged, it's like we fell in love with each other all over again? Well, I wouldn't go that far but I'm looking slightly less "chavvy" now, we've all got used to Pete's hair and February Half Term is almost survived. Roll on Easter.
|Making Lego in Manchester|