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Saturday, 12 October 2013

School Hours Breakdown

I could really relate to Gary Numan's "confessions" about depression and parenting. It feels so wrong to bring the two together because, for me, becoming a mum was the best thing that could happen. But Christ, did it do my nut in.

What I find interesting about Numan's story is that depression was something both he and his wife endured. This made it ten times worse because, at a time when the pressure's on simply to meet the basic needs of young children, neither could be there for each other emotionally. 

Again, I can relate to this. Both Pete and I struggled with our moods, especially in the early years of parenting. This was not merely the effect of exhaustion, lack of "us time", career stagnation mixed with an extra glass of wine (or two) to cope; although this clearly didn't help. No reader, it was much deeper than that.

Pete and I at one point or another, along the incredible journey of becoming "Mum and Dad" to our gorgeous pair, hit complete and utter rock bottom. To even catch the eye of one another during this darkness was like a glimpse in the mirror; the naked truth of how one felt, reflected in the other. It makes you run a mile. Needless to say, we were hardly a support for each other and that made it so much worse. At times you even wonder if you'll make it through together; it certainly tested us.

And yet the irony; these lovely little things bringing so much pleasure and fun into our worlds. Our determination to capture it, to run with it and to do our damdest to keep things stable and secure for them; for us. Our recoveries were slow, they needed to be. Sometimes we still struggle but, equally, we've moved on, together. We've changed so much around us and yet, within our family bubble, so much remains. The bonds are strong and we keep playing.

Gary Numan's story

Back in the early days - leaving home!

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